The last three days

Im not sure what the fuck happened but I will try and write it the best I can.

On Saturday, my ex N** decided she was going to come and visit so she did and we went out to a club called The Warehouse. Its an awesome alternative club, fun times!
Anyway she ended up ditching me and getting with three different people and I was like...erm...thanks? I would like to mention at this point she has a boyfriend.

When we got back from Warehouse, she told me she did it to make me jealous and yeah it worked but why the fuck would someone be cruel enough to do something like that? Its just wrong!

On Sunday she pretty much just cried about it, out of shame and shit I guess but I guess she kinda deserved it. I didnt tell her that obviously but I didnt really comfort her either. I didnt know what to do.

Today was the worse, she had decided that how she acted in Warehouse was my fault and that if I had given her the attention she deserved then she wouldnt of been like that. This really pissed me off to be honest but I didnt say anything about it.

It ended when I came back into my room and she was sprawled on my bed expecting sex and well yeah I turned her down, for many reasons, one she has a boyfriend and I know how much it hurts to be cheated on, two for the way she acted in Warehouse and three how she had reacted towards me. This made her made and she decided to leave.

But before she left she decided to leave me with this "I dont even know why I am here, I have someone back home who loves me and wants to be with me. You know what D**? I dont want you in my life no more so Im cutting all ties, including facebook"

I didnt know what to say, it really hurt to hear it, especially when I had done nothing wrong, all I could say was "Yeah he loves you but here you are fucking half of Warehouse, what does that say about you?" She left after that and I aint heard anything since.

It really messed me up though, for the first time in months I wanted to but myself again, I even got the razor blade ready and pushed it against my arm but I couldnt bring myself to do it. I kinda just sat there feeling empty, used and truely fucked over.

IM.