Saturday 21 May 2011

I dont get it

I dont get it,


My ex left me last December because of the problems I was going through and since then she has acted like I left her. Constantly telling me she loves me and it hurts her to know I have an interest in someone else.

What the fuck?! She has a boyfriend, has done since late Febuary and apparantly thats alright but as soon as I find someone I like its not OK at all. She keeps telling me she wants to be with me (even though she has someone) and that knowing I want to be with someone is fucking her up. Like it didnt fuck me up when she left me in a time I was very fucking unstable, like it wasnt fucked up when she dropped me a message telling me she has found someone else and they are "serious".

I dont fucking get it, it really upsets me. I mean shit I ended up on fucking suicide watch in a fucking mental hospital because she left me (yeah I was THAT unstable) and I get that it was my fault, really I do. But to then go about her life saying she wants to be with me and all that shit after shes put me through so much, WHY?!

I know Im not in the best place right now, but I am doing a lot better than I was. But with her saying all of this, fuck it brings back all the shit and it terrifies me!

What the fuck am I meant to do?!

IM.

4 comments:

  1. It
    seems
    you are
    in
    an
    impeccable
    rut.

    To have
    been over
    suicide
    watch in a
    hospital
    must have meant
    she was
    doing something
    good.

    I
    don't
    get it
    either.

    I'd...
    I'd
    probably
    just
    forget
    her.
    She'd
    just become
    as
    normal
    and
    bland as
    mouthwash.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Is it wrong that mouthwash comment made me smile?

    Your probs right though, its so hard to forget though, we both have the same group of friends so it aint like I can avoid her.

    I do wish I could forget a lot of the time though, it would save me a lot pain.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It
    is not wrong
    at
    all, lol.

    So
    forget.
    Do everything you
    can
    to
    forget.

    Get
    away and
    out.
    Find a
    different muse
    other than
    let
    pain be
    it
    you know?

    ReplyDelete